everything you never needed to know, but were afraid not to read.

Nostalgia,

You can get the hell out of my life tonight. I mean this morning. Whatever.

Thx.

Mandy.

So I didn't really get in to the whole New Year celebration thing. We had take out mexican food, wine and champagne last night. It was ok. In fact just had a little bit of champagne a few minutes ago because I'm bored and felt like being fancy.

So 2010 was alright. I bought a house which is quite the accomplishment I guess. I finally cleared up my license and am officially a legal driver with my very own car. It's a 1993 Honda Accord by the way. I love my car and have given her several names. Can't decide which one I like best between Svetlana, Mandymobile or the pussy wagon.

I lost one of my dearest and best friends in 2010. I miss her and think about her all the time however 2010 was also a good year for making friends.

The aunt who stole from me, lied to me and was an overall asshole to me died in 2010 too. I don't really give a shit about that. Her son also died who had his moments of awesome but was mostly a dick.

I was feeling pretty low around late March/early April because I should have been expecting a baby so what did I do? I downloaded an app that helped me track my monthly cycle and lo and behold got pregnant again. It was a very exciting eleven weeks for me but unfortunately my second little one did not make it. I had a due date of January 1st which is today but I'm not considering getting pregnant again. Not any time soon. I'm scared this is going to be a pattern and I just don't want to face that right now. Hurts too bad, friends.

Overall 2010 was ok. There were some gains and some losses but I guess that's true for any year and anyone. So this year, or this month rather I'm going to finish getting my A+ Certification and can apply for a new position in March so I can get a raise! Also at work they're enticing us to not use our sick time during the first quarter of the year by awarding us $100 gift cards of our choice for each month we have perfect attendance during the first quarter. I like my job, have a pretty good attendance record with the company so I guess I can look forward to at least $100. Should be nice, right? Yeah.

When I was a kid I would suffer from terrible leg pain that everyone just chalked up to be growing pains.

I'm going to be twenty seven next month and my leg pain is still active as ever. Last night it was my right leg, tonight it's my left.

So much pain. I fucking hate it.

So next week I have a Dr. appointment concerning the whole pancreas being a pussy and giving up on a full and wonderful life of tastiness. I am not excited. I slept a couple of hours this morning and went to town to do the whole blood thing. I'm so freaking nervous. I won't lie and say I've been dominating blood sugar spikes because I have not and I know that I should be. I don't know. I'm a pussy.

Also, went to take my wed-gagement ring to be cleaned and fell in love with the most amazing emerald and diamond ring. I tried to take pictures but my phone isn't the best at capturing the glitter and glam that is this ring. I should have asked to try it on only I think it would have left my hand in mourning.

I'm kind of in to finding random tumblr accounts that have amazing pictures, stories and typically plus sized models/fashion blurbs. I'm kind of toying with the idea of making my own if only to reblog (is that the thing you do when you like something and wanna share it with your own followers?) because if I do then I'll have all of those cute pictures of pandas falling off of their zoo ... playground things and fabulous pictures of Tina Fey and all of the pretty pictures I can find of rando ass stuff. I don't know. Maybe I should just save shit to some kind of album. Maybeh.

The A+ Certification is coming along. I just started the fourth module of eight so I guess I'm on kind of a roll. I really want to finish this before January 1st because it's not very fun and I would not like to have to do this every three years. Also the quicker I finish the quicker I can apply for a new position with a shiny pay raise that should give more wiggle room for nice shiny things.

Oh, you know that cute Asian girl who posts videos of make up tips/make up themes? Maybe not. Anyway I was watching her recently and saw her use one of my favorite products of all time that I kind of forgot about until then. I'll get to the point, she was using Revlon Illuminance Creme Shadow! When I moved to Vegas after high school my mom had sent me a couple and I fell in love. Anyway I just bought the Precious Metals one and I am in love once again. Writing about eyeshadow kind of made me feel good for some reason. Yeah, I'm a pussy.

So I think that's it. Oh, yes I am changing shifts on October 3rd. Leaving the 4 x 10's for the birds and working a five day work week. I need to change it up once in a while, however I will still be working until 3am. It does involve a nice pay differential as well. My mortgage, I like to have that thing paid. Love it even.

I have an online friend in the UK who love love loves Barenaked Ladies. He's seen them four times over the past ten days and is tweeting/facebooking constantly about it. He's had the chance to meet/interact with the guys. This makes me feel very happy for my friend.

It also makes me stinkin jealous. I've been listening to e2e in my car a lot lately and I'm starting to get in to All In Good Time. I miss Steven Page in this band. The new album is great and yeah I know I told Jesse I'd make a copy for her a million weeks ago when the album came out and I still haven't. I suck. Again, I really miss Steven Page in this band. I miss the lyrics that he brought to the table. I miss the songs about bad relationships that you're holding on to with all you've got because you just have to. I miss his voice.

I'm planning on seeing the band on October 30th but I have to admit I'm a little scared of what the show will be like without him. Not even just on a fangirl omgstevenpageistehsex kind of way. I just feel it will be weird. Still trying to comprehend what a Steve song sounds like when say a Mr. Kevin Hearn sings it or a Mr. Tyler Stewart. I just don't get it.

Guys, we went to a restaurant in Peralta which is the only decent restaurant aside from Dion's Pizza within twenty miles from my house. We decided to try the fish fry special. It sucked. Had a tiny bit of vanilla pudding to finish it off. Sad when the pudding surpasses the entire meal in flavor.

Ugh. Can't Steven Page just come back?

One of the perks of working where I work is that I get 50% off of wireless service for up to five lines and can get new phones/modems/netbooks every ten months for said lines. Two years ago I let my brother and his then girlfriend join my account and they were great with it. Over the past year or so since I've stopped living with them and am now obviously living with my husband they seem to be pretty crappy with making their payments on time. I've had to pay their part at the very last minute before having a late fee on my bill and HELLO I FUCKING WORK THERE this should not happen.

They kind of broke up last September/October and since they had each just gotten new phones in June agreeing to another one year contract I couldn't just remove her from the account, I didn't want to screw myself paying her early termination fee since I had just had an unexpected medical expense that was about the same amount, I wasn't in any position to do so. It was basically agreed upon that she would stay on until June 2010 to avoid such a situation. I guess he's kind of back with her now. I know he lives with her but not sure about if they have much of a relationship and still I have to pick up on their payments. I get paid back but it's still inconvenient, and honestly I kind of feel like they're taking advantage of me and the benefit.

I told them back in May that they should go on their own and since we bill a month in advance it only made sense to have them taken off in July. The last day of my billing cycle is the 22nd. I was texting with him about what he was planning to do, and somehow I ended up feeling like a dick and an asshole. He said it wasn't like me to do this kind of thing. I'm torn on how I feel about that but I also feel like he's upset with me. He's the only living connection to my mom that I care to have, I don't want him to feel like I'm pushing him away at the same time I feel like he's pushing me away.

I don't know. I feel like an asshole but I'm not sure if I'm correct in feeling this way.

I paid my last respects to one of my best friends last night. I've known her since the sixth grade and became friends after she told me that I was cool. I was treated like crap by most of the kids in school, for someone to say that about me was unheard of. She's always been such a giving person, always giving of herself never ever asking for anything in return.

Can't even start to say how much she meant to me.

Her car broke down on the freeway last week, she was pulled over on the shoulder trying to fix it when someone crashes in to her car... anyway she didn't make it.

Turns out the woman that killed her? Yeah, she works (worked?) at vzw. Crazy.

My husband seems to be obsessing over viral videos he hears about on the Stern show. It's annoying to me that he watches them... makes me watch them and will comment ... then read his comment out loud.

What a nerd.

:) Seriously though, I keep asking why he keeps watching that shit if it bothers him how Gary Coleman was treated on Inside Edition or some shit.. he has no answer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixiMFvlymyA

I honestly don't give a poop but if you're interested, you've got the link. Also I must need food again as I'm feeling pretty cranky and annoyed.

When you work overnight shifts you tend to drop off the face of the earth.. kinda.

Moved in to the house, starting to get stuff set up slowly but surely. I'm bored and hungry. Should probably make food but then my husband will get all lame and tell me to wait but he'll take seven million years before I have food in my belly.

So frustrating, also when I have low blood sugar I get hella cranky.

Blah.

My husband is watching some video series of the bearded dude beating up the black guy and the ladies apology videos. Seriously.. who gives a crap?

Hahaha.. hungry. I have today off, will likely fall asleep soon and re-emerge later this afternoon.

Ugh.. these videos are dumb.

Just had the urge to listen to "Puttin on the Ritz" by Taco. Weird. I heard it for the first time about three years ago and died laughing as it was the funniest thing ever.

:)

I'm surviving guys. Too little sleep, working hard, trying to get better at this new job everyday. Smiling and congratulating everytime someone else gets pregnant or shares pictures of their new babies. Oh well. What can I do?

I'm excited for Thanksgiving, mostly the turkey. Our friend Keith is cooking the big Turkey dinner with all the fixins on Monday. Yum. I've been invited to spend the day with my actual family. I really would like to go but convincing others to go with is kind of a hard task.

I really just want to see Amy's baby girls and how much they've grown. I miss Alena! I so wish I could just adopt her.

This is the extent of my life. It's 9:07pm and I'm exhausted. See ya later.